||[Feb. 12th, 2010|01:33 pm]
Baby Daddy Problems Support
As for the title, Creation.... the story of Lexi, it all began on a stormy night, just kidding. In order to get the frustrations of my life, I need to start out at the beginning of when I met her father. I met Lexi's father, who will remain nameless until the paternity test (which is in the process of being ordered by the courts) online. I know, not smart, your telling me. BUT, let me get this straight, I DO NOT THINK LEXI IS A MISTAKE. She is the MOST beautiful, breath taking, smart, GOOD ( I know a lot parents say that their kid is good, but I mean like, she's really REALLY good) child. I will never regret having her because she is my world. I can say that I'm frustrated with this situation for several reasons. 1) he lied about how old he was.... he was 19 at the time... No, I'm not a cougar nor am I pervert. He told me he was 21 AND his myspace profile said so as well. (I just want to say HE sought me out on myspace, I didn't go looking for him) 2) Her dad strung me along saying he wanted a relationship, BULL SHIT! Obviously, I can't choose guys worth crap, bc if you knew me, you'd know the past few guys I've chosen, have been DUDS! 3) He was all like, "don't tell my mom, I'll tell her" and I believed him. Well, needless to say, I had to call her up and tell her, Lexi was 3 months old at the time, that's time they will never get back. 4) He asked me not to take him to court, he'd pay the child support, yada yada yada. Well, in case you skipped some of the text above, I'm in the process of taking him to court, for a paternity test, which he wants, and then for child support. 5) THE BIGGEST REASON I'M FRUSTRATED- well, I didn't know anything about his family and he wouldn't answer my calls so I had to do what I needed to do. Some may call this deceiving, but I call it necessary. I went on myspace, created a fake profile, and added him. Told him I wanted to meet him, he hadn't even seen a pic and wanted to see me. Then, he asked if I had kids, I said I have a son. I told him I had a sister who was pregnant, the guy left her and how I hated guys who did that. (I was trying to drop hints) Well, I asked him if he had kids, he said no, FIGURES. So, I asked if he wanted kids, and he said yes. He said he wanted them soon. I HIT THE FAN! Are you serious! So my exact words were "are you fucking kidding me? I'm sitting next to your daughter right now!" Well, he stopped talking to me. I forgot to mentino the funny AND stupid part about this whole thing. He didn't tell me anything about his family.. NOTHING, while we were "together." I told him my sister was doing a project about names in families and thats all I needed to say nd he told me ALL of his family's names. Wow, that has to be disturbing to his family to know he just gives that information out to random strangers. Anyways, I got the names I needed and called his family. He also told me where he worked as well, NOT SMART.
Now, I'm never gonna speak ill of Lexi's dad, but I will say this, I have a quote that I use, "most men can be sperm donors, some choose to be dad's, and only a few deserve to be recongnized as father's" Well, right now, Lexi's dad is a sperm donor. He has done nothing for his child. He know's she's his. He's just scared to tell his family. I understand that. It was hard for me to tell my family at the age of 23, let alone being 19. But, I gave him time, and he blew it. A lot of people are wondering what my intentions are for telling his parents and getting him to step up. 1) I want her to know her dad. I don't want to HAVE to tell her that her dad didn't want anything to do with her because he wasn't man enough. 2) I was adopted as a child. I love my parents very VERY much and I'm so blessed to have them as my parents, but I do wonder about my birth parents. I have questions for them. I don't want Lexi to have that wonder that I have. I hope that her dad comes around and realized he still can step up.
Well, I told Lexi's dad that I was pregnant, his first response was, well your gonna get an abortion. Um, NO! I DO NOT believe in abortion. I think if your gonna spread your legs you need to deal with the consequences. Keep the baby or give the baby up for adoption. PERIOD! All you guys who keep spreading your legs and aborting, SHAME ON YOU! I'm taking care of what I did, so should you, but don't kill a child because your life isn't in order. It isn't their fault your life is fucked up! (Sorry about the language, I'm just very passionate about this subject) Well, I told him no. He continued to talk to me until February 14, ironic, isn't it. He told me not to tell his mom and not to go to court. I text him randomly through out the next 6 months, telling him he had a daughter, that she was healthy, etc etc. Then, the big day came!
I was induced on September 1st, 2009! I was only in labor for 10 hours and pushed for 1! It was THE MOST AMAZING event EVER. I remember it like it was yesterday! She was beautiful, ahead of the game ( you'll get what I mean by that in future posts about what all she can do) and perfect! Well, I called him the next day leaving a message, telling him how beautiful she was and how she needed to see her, his daughter! Well, a couple weeks went by and I heard from him! He texted me and he wanted pictures! Are you serious? You abandoned me while I was pregnant and now you want pictures! Well, I thought maybe he had grown up. He and I talked and he wanted to see her. So, I let him. We even talked about getting back together, but he said he was finishing up school in Decemeber, so we couldn't really "be" anything until after. Like a fool, I believed him. I even slept with him again after Lexi was born. I hate that I did that. Well, so he kept on making promises that he would see her over a 2 week span, he only saw her 3 times. Then, he started bull shitting me with "my pappaw is in the hospital, I can't come" I say bull shitting me because it was later confirmed by his mom that he was never in the hospital. This annoyed the shit out of me. EVERYTHING WAS A LIE! Well, the past couple weeks I've given him one last chance to do everything outside of the courts, which is what he asked for orginially. Well, tomorrow I'm meeting with the attorney to get a court ordered paternity test since he requested one, then we will continue with child support. I hope he realizes he needs to step up, but I think he's too immature to do so.
I have had to do a lot of growing up the past year. I have been hurt by several people recently and this was like one more blow! I hope her dad can be a man and do what he needs to do.
I'm mad that he's making me go this far. My only fear is that he will want to stay in the courts, which would include visitation, and I just don't know him as a person. I don't feel comfortable with him having her, yet. He's turning 21 next week, how can he be a good father? He'll be into the partying and crap. Anyone have any advice or suggestions?